Hatred

You know when it curbs me?
Of course, I feel it.
I feel it for you too.
You are no exception.
I am either.
I hate you sometimes.
And you know what,
It breeds when you are not around.
I don’t know what made you
Surmount your presence,
There around me,
Most of the times,
When it all started.
Your presence,
It has an unnoticeable existence,
Time and again,
That I cannot feel it differently,
As those movies and those stories extrapolate,
I don’t feel anything different,
It’s all just the same.
But I do feel something.
I feel a chamber around me,
That cuts me from the chaos of my life,
That lands me up in a small space,
Where I can be,
Without considering the rest of the world.
That space which is now an addiction.
And I will blame no one, but you.
I didn’t face the moments of discontent earlier.
Although, I won’t deny any prior encounters,
But this reason is new.
And it took me long to figure out,
One can never have those numbing points,
Discovered all by oneself,
Weakness is a better word,
But you are not my weakness.
You have always existed as my strength,
But, then why is this subsistence,
That is troubling me out.
What is the strange silence,
That covers me up.
Why I land myself in thinking,
What has happened and
What will now?
Why I am gaping and gazing still,
For some moments,
Till someone figures that out.
That sounds weird,
In fact, it is,
The thing is, it took me so long,
To get hold of that weirdness.
Was I the same?
Before few years,
Did I feel the same urge
To be in that small space of yours?
No,
I never knew,
That it ever existed,
Non-existence,
Was it better than what it is now?
Oh,
That dilemma curtails me all the time.
What could have happened
Or how could have been the world now?
Anyway, who am I, when,
Shakespeare himself suffered,
While choosing to be or not to be,
So did the Frost in another way,
Not seeing the other side of the woods,
Where he would have traveled if he had chosen differently.
Well, it could not be changed,
But the matter is all about hatred.
Yeah,
I won’t,
I can’t,
Cut it off, as it is inevitable.
I cannot stop hating you,
For coming and being a part of the journey,
That I was accustomed to traveling alone.
But you know,
I loved you for the same reason.
Irony.
Ain’t it worse when it works on extremities?
You know me enough,
I have always loved to play in extreme lines.
Adversities,
So, we will now.

An eternal loop

Don’t wait for me ever.
Don’t disturb the symphony of your life.
Don’t think of me all night.
Don’t remember my chatter in the day too.
I won’t come to you for all.
But I will call you one day.
When?
You may ask me next,
But don’t think of it now,
‘Cause I won’t tell you,
I couldn’t.
Because I don’t even know when.
But I will call you one day.
Which day?
Let me catch the phrase,
The day,
When the world will lose its vividness,
When the stars will subside its shine,
When the flowing water will not make those lovely sound,
When my heart will resign,
When the birds will not sound so good,
When the winds will divert its flow,
When my hair will not float in the brooks,
When my feet will get swollen,
When the blue of the sky will get dull,
When the sunshine will hit me hard,
When I cannot tolerate the heat out of the dark,
When my head will throb and will diverge apart,
When the tigers will get tamed by those monkeys,
When the music will get dull,
When the rhythms will have no melody,
When my words will become hollow, thoroughly null,
When the yellow will not please me, nor will the blue,
When the rainbow will lose its curve and the butterfly will lose its hue.
See I told you.
That I still don’t know when I will call you.
But I will call you one day.
When the moon will not talk with the night and will swallow its words within,
When the droplets will not stick to the ground and run away,
When the trains will forget the directions and rains will forget the play,
When darkness of black will turn white,
When the brightness of white will turn gray.
See I promised you that I will call you one day.
I will call you and will ask you if you know a world so new,
Far away from this whimsical souls,
Having new textures, new hue,
I will ask you to tell me if you know how to go to that place,
You will do some spell and tell me that you still don’t have the way.
But then you will turn a plate which is too heavy to lift upside down,
And then you will say you have corrected my world,
My place from where I came,
My home bearing ground.
And then I will be afraid cause I have left it far away,
I want to go to a new land,
Through a journey which passes through infinite bays.
But then you will sing me a song,
Telling that the world is nothing but a loop,
The threads sometimes are taut, sometimes they become too loose.
But you know that magic which can stretch it all tight,
You will be my harbinger of bliss and turn my land upright.
And then I will deny but you will throw me again to that land,
I will get pleased by the blossoms and smell of the muddy rain.
Within the loop, I will travel again,
And then again we will come to the promise,
Of calling you once again.

Tonight

A new year comes with different meanings for everyone, here is one.

Tonight I am not gonna leave you,
Not even for those fraction of seconds,
When you blink your eyes,
When you adjust your pair of glasses,
When you take rhythmic deep breaths,
When you curl your hair with your fingers,
No, you won’t get even that fraction of your time,
Not tonight.
It’s a special one for you and me,
Not because they celebrate the arriving year,
With those fireworks and gatherings
But because our years of togetherness starts today.

 

You were always caught in decisions.
Deliberation
Perseverance,
And persistent urge,
After all those couple of years,
Finally we are here,
I can hold you in my arms,
Leaving behind those moments of hesitation and denial,
I can run finger through your hair,
I can play with them,
I can fondle you,
I can hold you tight,
I can stare at you for long,
I can hear your heart beating so close
I can see the glistening eyes of yours reflecting mine,
I can tickle you and hear your laugh.

 

Oh, how long I have waited for this day,
Will you understand,
The pain and sufferings,
I’ve gone through in past couple of years,
It’s like I was living apart,
From a detached part of my body,
Of my soul,
Waiting for it to complete my living.

 

There was not a single moment,
When I didn’t think about you,
Each single day I urged to see your face,
I wondered if you were alright,
Because I have always feared the world,
The world that detached us
The world that snatched you from me,
I had cried then,
I soaked in vain,
What else I could have done,
I was so helpless,
So bound,
I couldn’t gather my courage then,
I was broken by the unrighteous blames,
They put on me,
I was turned to pieces,
The mere thought of detaching with you,
That came so harsh.

 

But I build my strength,
On the pillars of my immense love for you,
I honed my fierceness,
Because when you are up for the battle,
With the heartless world,
You have to pierce them hard to win,
And I won.

 

I won because the love always transcends the barrier,
No matter how large and stiff they form it.
And there we are tonight,
Below the shining sky,
You’ve always loved the stars,
But for me you stand above all,
You are the shining star of my life,
Which has always guided my way,
You are my source of happiness,
The spirit of my life.

 

I have always wanted to see you growing,
Learning those minute modalities of life,
But I won’t regret the past now,
As I have the present with me,
Tonight we will celebrate our togetherness,
To cover up past nine years that I have missed being a part of,
I don’t blame the court but the people who did it,
But then my love,
My beautiful princess,
We are together tonight,
And for the rest of the life.

 

I have you.
The best thing in my world.
To mark
The end of my sorrows,
The beginning of my dreams,
That I have dreamt of, all those nights.
Tonight, I will tell you the story of your mother.
As whom I have transcended in my life,
Oh, my little fairy,
I will tell you the story of vigor,
I will tell you the story of rage,
So that you may light the flame tonight,
Inside your soul,
That never ceases its flare.

Escape

 

“Take me away from here,
I don’t want to live in this nasty place anymore,”
She said to her sister,
But, she continued to cover her up with the quilt,
Both felt the chills,
The running air conditioners,
Or the disaster that numbed their nerves.
She asked the ward boy to increase the temperature,
Intensive Care Unit,
Waved the board outside.

 

She wished if she could grant her wish,
As she always did,
But how could she.
How could she make her disappear,
From this world ,
Where she herself is stuck for years?

 

She wondered if she could have an escape,

 

An escape to the world where still humanity exists,
An escape to the world where they can walk and laugh freely on the streets,
An escape to the world where no one bothers how they dressed, how they acted,
An escape to the world where they are not judged by the freedom of their thoughts against the unjust,
An escape to the world where they do not suffer the critical remarks on their blunt character,
An escape to the world where no one crumbles their dreams with the stiff hammer of realities,
An escape to the world where their bodies are treated with sanctity,
An escape to the world where they are not possessions to crave for,
An escape to the world where they are not mere objects for fulfilling their lust and desires,
An escape to the world where they are not intimidated by the devilish eyes of those hunters,
An escape to the world where their souls are still free and unhampered,
An escape to the world where everyone makes stand towards the injustice,
An escape to the world where they are not questioned for undone misdeeds,
An escape to the world where they are supported in the fight against the people who gave them scars,
An escape to the world where their excruciating pain is felt, with which they suffer, each passing hour,
An escape to the world where they are not harassed,
An escape to the world where they are not raped.

 

She wished, if she could have the one.

 

Covering her up,
She closed her eyes,
Her palms were cold.
Holding them tight,
She whispered,
“Sleep, my love.
We are not cowards,
We will not run,
We will fight.”

Meteor Shower

 
Scrolling her news feed,
She then got around to read,
A line there said,
There will be meteor shower in the eve.
The sky is always her passion,
The apex of her dreams,
Relieving her from worldly concussion.
In her semi-conscious sleep,
She dream of the sky,
She dream of him,
Those iterations enough to turn her high.
They have miles between them,
But the souls were close,
Staring at her screen in a closed chamber,
She craved for covering the distances,
But her apartment constrained.
They were talking then,
From the escape hole, that keep them intact,
He read her mind,
Her thoughts, her hidden enacts.
He asked her to secretly move inside her den.
Close your eyes,
He said,
The journey was about to begin.
She wanted a magic spell then,
And he did it fast,
Taking them to the land of their togetherness,
That was then miles far.
She felt the chills,
They moved on a count of three,
The room slowly vanished,
And they landed in the land of trees.
They were there,
On their countless nights,
That was a dreamland,
With far stretched field and fireflies.
Her urge to lay on her back in the grass was fulfilled,
She smiles,
A sense shivers her till she turns nil.
The vast sky was there,
The ceiling has disappeared,
His magic was true,
She was there with him, and begin the ceaseless stare.
They stared the sky,
The ceaseless meteor fall,
The hands were clutched tight,
The sky started to revolve.
The big dipper in the middle,
Below was the pole star,
His hands curling her waist,
Her happiness is beyond par.
He send her the songs,
Those took her even deep,
To the land where they met,
Where the nights weren’t for sleep.
She felt his smell,
He felt hers,
Though they were miles apart,
The magic traveled.

 

The Midnight Supper

 

On the dining table,
She smiles as she eats,
The sound of the cutlery too seems a melody,
The heated dinner,
He had cooked for her,
The smell penetrates her mind,
As she was there against him,
When he played with the spoons.

‘So you know that too’, she had asked,
He then smirked,
Clutched her from the back and kissed,
‘I know this the best, rest I can manage when you are around,
I can walk on the waters,
I can fly in the sky,
I can reach down the ocean,
I can cheat the lingering fire,
Because all those are just the background,
In the picture of you and me.’

He then said she was his world,
His desire,
His dream,
Moving his bare hands on the vessel with glee.

He did this the best too,
She savors as she eat.
A drop falling from her eye,
No,
That is not a cry,
That is not the wain,
But her thudding heart,
Reminding her of the hours insane.

It was just a month ago,
When they jumped from uphill,
Clutching each other’s fists tight,
She didn’t trust the hanging ropes or the belts,
But the grasp of his arms,
The pacifying smell.

They saw the river brimming,
As they looked away,
When they fell,
He then said,
He loved her,
For nights and the days,
On his hands was the ring,
He then slid it, through her way,
Her thudding heart then had no choice,
She knew that it will happen one day,
But this day,
Was it then chosen to turn divine?

Today is the day, when she turned twenty two,
She woke up at seven and caught his glimpse,
While arranging the table
He counted the candles with a wide grin,
She realized,
Back down the memory lanes,
She had those years getting rewind,
She is a pretty daughter,
An insane girl,
She does anything that her mind says,
But never crumbled one,
She is reckless,
She hates the bars,
She dreams in day,
Nights are always her working hours.
Those were the ones that took her far,
She smiled at him and blew the candles, par,
Sunk into depths of her temple,
Looking down the bright sun,
Through the diaphanous plate,
Seventy first floor.

Nothing has changed in hours, but the sun is set,
Looking down the city lights,
Seventy first floor,
She sitting in her diner,
Staring at her studded finger,
The diamond that cannot be finer.
She then thinks,
That is what she dreamed of,
Dozing off in the last bench of her classroom,
Looking through the escape path to the woods,
With the clouds drizzling.
Oh, yes she did.
She owns the power now,
She owns her aspirations to succeed,
She has him,
She has her life,
Life, which had that mere dream.

Still the separation of his from hers,
Tickles a sensation,
Sensation,
She wonders,
Was that the pain?
She subdues it, by the supper,
The midnight supper,
The solitary supper,
The solitary midnight supper, in the rain.

 

Tale

The unspoken

It’s all about a tale.
A tale of you and me,
The surreptitious silence and the unusual glee.
Walking down the alley in the dark, I follow you,
Carefree and reckless, you thump down the rue.
You hide your face to show the world the fear,
Only few know, that, inside the veil are lined down dried tears.
But who cares?
Ah, it is a tale.
The tale of you and me,
The silence and the glee.
 
I stare you often, you sitting near the church,
With those derelict crunches, waiting for your chance to purge.
You know the sins marked are fake, forged,
Still you seem to repent, to meet your unsated urge.
Do the priests care?
Oh, it is a tale.
The tale of you and me,
The silence and the glee.
I remember you, from the pages of the past,
You sailed the streams, owning pride of the high mast,
The glimpse of you, that I saw in that dim light,
Is still intact in me, in my diminished sight.
Fierceness and passion are what I saw in your eyes,
With the awkward exchanges, screeched the sailor’s voice.
You looked good in the sailor suit,
The one that is torn now, persevering the pursuit.
Did the prosecutor care?
No, as it is a tale.
The tale of you and me,
The silence and the glee.
The night when you sailed me, from the shore,
City that we left behind in its usual chores.
I felt like a bird, when the winds hit high,
I screamed out my heart, that was my loudest cry.
Unshackled chains laid on the deck tamed,
Ecstasy was ethereal, but yet constrained.
Did the moon care?
It is a tale.
The tale of you and me,
The silence and the glee.
We sat on the shore for long hours,
You shared your memories, of you as a tar,
I listened and drowned in the sea so deep,
For me, the return was irrevocable, bleak,
Time comes, when I feel like changing roles,
Me being a storyteller, you playing a listener during strolls.
Then came the revelation, sooner I realized,
My tales are mundane, my lore is petrified,
Brimming wealth has muted the conversations, the insight,
Barely I remember the time when I was me,
Leveling sophistication, visage, demeanor being my plight.
Does the affluent care?
Why?
It is a tale.
The tale of you and me,
The silence and the glee.
And I told you that we would run away,
Landing in a deserted island making summer hay,
The shackles would then be broken free,
The mast would spread, so as the glee.
Denial of yours, to the betrayal of mine,
Is what that still hold me within the lines?
Do the winds care?
It is a tale.
The tale of you and me,
The silence and the glee.
It was yet another day for us, waddling across the shore,
Clutching our fists tight, staring the sky, the stirring glow,
Some steps followed us, they came from the dark,
I didn’t hear the sound, but, the bullet hit me hard.
I woke up in the bed, screaming and crying,
But, no sound came out, the night roamed around my mind.
They said, I won’t speak for now, the bullet took away my cry, my sound.
I searched for you, yelled, but you were nowhere to be found.
No one listened,
As, it is a tale.
The tale of you and me,
The silence and the glee.
I saw you on the screens, that you were sued,
Punished for a sin, that came out of a lineage feud,
They said you fired me and took away my voice,
How can I tell them, that, you ignited my soul, melting the smothering ice.
Now when I see you, we exchange smiles,
My teeth worn out, so as my life.
Does the world care?
Hell,
For them, it is a tale.
The tale of you and me,
The sound silence and the abated glee.